My Story, As It Really Is

Hi, I'm glad you're here. This is my search for wellness, and I want to be upfront that it's still very much in progress.

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I live with anxiety, depression, and CPTSD, and I show autistic, ADHD, and bipolar traits. I'm a severe asthmatic. I'm post-menopausal after 17 years of hormones working against me instead of with me. I've done therapy, medication changes, Al-Anon, ACA, CoDA, and more self-work than I ever thought one person could do. Some of it has helped tremendously. Some of it I'm still figuring out. All of it is part of my story.

I started this blog because I needed somewhere to put it all — the spirals, the small wins, the voice in my head telling me I'm not enough. I named that voice Henry. He's the hamster running on the wheel in my brain, and some days he's relentless. I write about him, and about the "shoulds" he loves to throw at me, because naming it out loud takes away some of its power. Maybe it will for you too.

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Here's what I've learned, and what I keep relearning: doing 50% of something is better than doing 100% of nothing. Getting out of bed counts. Brushing your teeth counts. You don't have to be further along than you are.

If you're struggling, or you're watching someone you love struggle, I hope something here makes you feel less alone. That's really all I'm trying to do.

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This isn't medical advice, and I'm not a professional. I'm just a person, telling the truth about my own path, one honest post at a time.